Growth

Well it's effin' 3:50
Can't sleep shiet.

Last night, which was Saturday night, the 15th, was fun. Party at jersey, belleville, then Taste of Asia for birthday celebration for Joy's bday. Urban Ecko celebration, performed too, twas fun.

Today barbecue in the backyard for Wisconsin fams, then they bounced back to cheeseville.


But yea, lately alot of shit goin' on in my mind. Life movin' fast, major shit gosta happen sooon.

Writing songs, getting ready for shit, poetry here and there.

This post is about my poetry. I usually write a sort of hip-hop vibed type of thing, but I felt over the time I've been writing, I've grown in my writing a bit.
I wish it would be that way for music as well hah, but we'll see.

This is a piece I felt I ultimately spazzed out on and shows my growth in my literary advances.
Just my thought. ha.
Enjoy if you read all this..


Call me stubborn, but I never wanted to understand why I’d constantly fall into your disbelief.
Maybe if my persistence runs along with your disbelief then I’d be the victor.
Maybe I should realize that I’ve been just as dismal as you have been, but I wasn’t the reason.
And I’m tired of covering up being morose with a fake smile in every picture.
Time and time again, I find your sympathy very much sweet.
But your ignorance wasn’t bliss; to me it was very much bitter.
In fact if I could compare your infatuation to my love,
You are the shallow end of the beach while the deep sea is where I would indulge.
I’m only human, and a male for that part, so I would admit I do fall into the animalistic thoughts of a beastly demeanor.
This is what you would call making love.
But I have to move past such an existence, for the odds of that would be like striking gold in my basement.
I don’t want to sound like a loser, but I’ve found that the alcohol and nicotine could be your temporary replacement.
I’m dumbfounded with the mere fact that you could be so much a part of me than I actually hoped for.
Maybe that wasn’t such a great idea to hope for, for maybe that was the downfall.
I love believing your lies for it makes you happy.
But at what cost must I falter for the sake of your pleasure.
I don’t even know what kind of effect I had on you or your intimate self.
Perhaps being oblivious to this knowledge would be for the better.
I can go on days praising you, but it’s just words from my wise.
Such as seeing heaven in your eyes was the most glorious disguise.
But you have been very much a part of me.
More than I realized.
And in the ultimate end I wish for your happiness.
I wouldn’t mind seeing the demise.
But I was never so spiteful.
Rather I remain blunt.
I would observe from a distance in a nonchalant manner.
But when the time comes I will tell you everything you should have heard from the start.
It’s not what you need, however, it’s what you want.
If you tell me how deep you’ve been hurt.
I’d have to cut you short.
Because you never took a second out of your omnipresent calendar to figure the sufferings I have burdened.
Yet we learn.
And what we yearn, is never worth the longing.
So I dare you to challenge me and call me wrong.
Because the concept of love is so overrated.
You are in fact the fallen angel in my visual that I have managed to create.
Find your wings, and learn to fly.
While I search for the goods in goodbye.