Yes I'm hopeful.

"you know who and who not to take advantage of."


I hope you grow up soon, and realize.

I love you, and wish for the best.

Sign

Maybe it passed.
Maybe it was there for a time.
Maybe I couldn't see it.
Maybe for that second I was blind.
Maybe I tried.
Tried too damn hard.
Maybe I kept it in this time.
Because the first 100 times I tried, I was too scared for the results of my lines.
It's not easy, and it's not fair.
Your lips, your hands, your scent, your smile, your lips, your soul, your hair.
Maybe it's sublime.
But I know for sure that I need a sign.
Or maybe I'll do it for my own clarity and peace of mind.
But I just need a sign.


"Never, ever, ever give up."

Confidence

I wish I had someone to lie and watch the Meteor Shower with.. Wompp womp. =/


I fell in love with these lines.

Smile

The power of a gun can kill, and the power of fire can burn. The power of wind can chill and the power of the mind can learn. The power of anger can rage inside until it tears u apart. But the power of a smile, especially yours can heal a frozen Heart.





I’m Breaking.
No longer think relations make a better person
Just for life, I’m pursuing.
Growing, but hopelessly romantic still.
-JG

Jambolaya(sp?)

Made this up on the way home.
Put it together.

Here you goes.






The attraction wasn’t a choice I was able to make.
But I was the sucker that got fooled.
I mean I make mistakes, but it’s nothing I regret.
Because it’s true I was fooled.
But I was a fool for you.
And I can’t be ashamed, pride won’t let me maintain.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’ll say it again.
It might be mutual, but in the end,
You’re the one comin’ back with a broken heart that I got to mend.
Yet I would treasure the moments we would spend and the times you would look my way.
And that twinkle in your eye would catch mine, and it would always make my day.
Well, I guess a twinkle in her eye, is just a twinkle in her eye.
Misconstrued the love she gave as the blessings in disguise.
And they say God’s favorites always have the toughest times.
I’m sure when it comes to Venusian arts he really doesn’t try.
And you know the saying that boys don’t cry.
So when you see the tears, it’s just the sweat coming out of my eyes.
No more lies, no more hidden agendas.
Just relieve my fear.
And those awkward moments I’ve been dreading will tend to disappear.
I can’t apologize.
I can only say its cliché.
And saying its cliché is in fact cliché as well.
But I guess that’s just me.
I hear the same thing over and over.
I deserve so much.
Now that’s an overrated statement.
With my heart as empty as my head
I’m looking for a certain replacement.
Nothing is as good as it was, and I’m ready for the consequences.
I can’t stand up.
And I can’t fall down.
I guess you can say I’m somewhere in the middle.
I’m sitting in the house of heartbreak.
And love doesn’t live here anymore since the rent is too expensive.

.Forever.

"But I put my car in park, and never let her cry alone. I listen to her heart beat because it plays my favorite song."
Lil Wayneee


Stepped in at about 5:55 AM from Johnrick and Kiara's birthday bash.





.. Ok.

It didn't matter if we spent another hour sitting there, a day, a week, a month, etc.
I honestly would have sat there next to you forever. In that cold, or in that rain. You are truly like no other. And to see you vulnerable just puts me in a spot thinking constantly of how I can make it all better for you.
No matter how many "I'm good's" you would state, it isn't as good as it should be.
And all I can do is blog about it. fuck.
....
...
...

The honesty of my gospel has left me too exposed lol.



"If I was a lesser man, I would cry."
-Johnrick Canque
lol. Thanks "kuya"
For everything.

Dreams

The nightmares are gone.


It's just sweet dreams now.
Super content.



On another low note.

I miss Cali. =/

Come Winter

It's not shallow. It's the total opposite.
It's emotionally magnificent.
- M.S

heh.





It's What I'm Lookin For To Carry Me Through
Yet I Can't Seem To Find A Girl That Possesses It
Only Wants A Friendship which causes Me To Forget The Shit
And When They Talk About They Past And Lovers
And You Get Mad At The Thought Of her Giving Ass To Others
Yet You Find Peace With Yourself, Now at Least There's Some Room To Ride
There's Also Room For Improvement As Soon As June Arrive

- Drizzy

Hardest Thing

"Then I had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Wait."



I wouldn't say today was perfect, because nothing is, but it was DAMN NEAR PERFECTION...



Took a shot of Vodka today. Lol, I chose to drink to waiting, everyone insisted we drank to my mother's new single life.. Disgustingg. yuck. lol.

Frozen.

Couples Retreat was a great movie.


" I wear my heart on my sleeve, that's just me. And people like me for it."



Intvw. tom. eek..

We'll see how everything turns out.



=/

Fair Well.

It's been fun.
Honestly it has.
Self explanatory.

Feather.

So the love of my life has inspired me once again.
Gosh. I need to study.


"Driftin' away like a feather in air. Lettin' the words take me away from the hurt and despair."


It's beautiful.
Innocent and pure.
And I'm mesmerized, passionately allured.
Soft and weightless.
Symbol of greatness.
Not like heartbreak, no, this type of love is painless.
It's that slice of heaven we all get to envision.
If we follow that path, well it's our decision.
Never have I felt that my life was really efficient.
But I'm convinced when our hearts cross paths in a full head collision.
This object has brought me more hope than a dove on Christmas morning.
Where do we go from here?
It's more like holding hands, walking blindly, rather than exploring.
It's as if Saint Gabriel knew the missing part of our love.
Literally a message, personally sent from above.
No words spoken, no love lost.
Just a mindful climax, while we got lost in thought.
Incredible with words, yet I intrigue with action.
Softspoken and humble, I try to watch for your reaction.
This feather has me convinced that we're making progress.
And quite frankly, Progress is Beautiful.
This is a sign made for both me and you to know.
Now I know this isn't my time nor my cue to go.
If we drift, we're drifting together.
And we've always been up in the air, that's why I call you my feather.

Strike 3

Congratulations Universe; you win.









I studied my mother, I digested her pain; and vowed no other woman in my life would have to walk the same.

Little Ondoy

When my dad looked at me and told me that my home in the Philippines was hit by this stupid fucking Typhoon, I was basically shocked.
It was a different kind of shock.
It was processed, but I couldn't think at all.

God.


I eventually called my mother to check the prognosis.

This was the weekend where my uncle had to visit with the newborn baby.
God bless him.



Well you know the results of the typhoon. If not.
20 feet of rain is all I am going to say.

They had to move to the 3rd floor of the neighbors house.
Thank God they are fine.
And condolences to those who have suffered.


We will do our best to support.

[A.R]

Friggin' Andre lol..




It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone...thinking I picked the wrong things to do in life....but hey nothing you can do about it now...

Enough?

Well I guess nothing's good enough.

We will just keep trying until it is.



I've been able to keep my sanity.






Anddd, it's your persona btw.

So Close.... But still so far..

Today, WOULD HAVE BEEN the day.
Lol, last night I had a really deep conversation with a real good friend, and it was a bit of a eye opener, so to speak.

So Today, this fine Wednesday, I felt obligated to do what I needed.
But I was hit with some sense by a friend.

But I felt so determined. But as it approached, as time slowly drained. I felt maybe it's best this stays in my mind.
Why fuck up anything.
If everything is great.
I guess, I'm a little bit scared still to take a chance or something?
Damn, that sounds bad, I just want some realization and be assured.
I'm tired of being wrong basically.

Lol, I can't help but laugh though.




"She's got a smile that can make an old senile annoying old man bite his tongue. I'm not done. She's got a smile comparable to sunrise and it doesn't start there, man I swear. She's got porcelain skin, of course she's a 10, and now she's even got her own song."

Minsan Pinsan

lol, umm i don't get to see this nigga alot. and i'm gonna improv a bit with this and just let his growing mind know wassup.
Even when we lived close by I barely got to see him, but I'm confident in saying I taught this nigga alot lol..

Kevin this for you playboy. You gettin' into poetry n shit right? well, that's good lol. Hope you stickin thru and you live out your ambitions, you got alot to accomplish, and the biddies is just a plus so no stressin'.



He looked at me in the eye and asked for some advice.
Being nice, I proceeded to give him my thoughts on life.
Then he said, it's not that intricate you see, it's about a girl this time.
I need to know somethin', is love that undefined?
Honestly, I was confused with my answer.
How can I talk, if I don't want to banter.
I couldn't explain this so easy.
And with what I was thinkin' how could he possibly believe me.
I know how the pain felt.
But I knew he had to experience it for himself.
He told me about one, then told me about another.
Then I thought about mine, and wondered why I would bother.
Sometimes, it hurts, and other times it's sweet.
There are times where your heart breaks, or times when it skips a beat.
We're both the same, there's no quick way to find it, no way to cheat.
But if you're looking for affairs, then love wasn't what you seeked.
How does love and basketball sound, yea that'd be ideal.
But with the girls we're surrounded it might seem unreal.
Truth of the matter, we're young, we shouldn't get attached.
I understand it's hard when you learn about love and all of that.
But just learn to keep your heart in tact.
And if you do reach the bottom, bounce right back.
Because we're young.
We're allowed to have fun.
But don't forget the tune that love plays for us.
Don't search for anything to fancy.
Keep it real simple, because we have too much in store if you ask me.
I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite.
But yes I know love because I've been in it.
They have broken my heart, even if it wasn't delibirate.
and there was a point where I was sick of it.
But don't take my experiences as a testament.
It's just where I've been and the feeling of my sentiment.
But you have so much in you, and you'll get what you deserve.
Just never lose your sight and your dreams, and if they're frontin' kick em to the curb.
Sometimes cuz, you just gotta live.


Lol. Right on the spot, but a small contort message.

Traveller's Guide to the Heart

On that poetry tip for a bit again. lol.
Tried to start this out as a rap, but better as a poem. lol.



How long does it take to get to one's heart?
The answer is simple, how long are you willing to walk?
I could repeat these blocks for as long as needed.
Let me guide your heart into something you can believe in.
You strive for happiness, yet you choose to stay blind.
Steady stay looking, but you have yet to find.
And I'm not saying I'm the one that can tender.
But I am the sure shot as a number 1 contender.
So where's the destination, what is the end?
I was never the type to just settle for less.
I'm left trying to find a balance.
I put a star to her heart on her heart shaped atlas.
Directions to the place that I desire was lost on the map.
But never worry, I know I can find it in my almanac.
It might be, but I guess I choose to digress.
The days that pass by can only feel timeless.
A straight line path is the best option to go around.
I'm caught going in circles and I can't be found.
I'm in way too deep and I can't get out.
These roller coaster feelings just keep going down.
Why am I writing a guide if I don't even know where to direct you?
Maybe I was hoping for you to see that I was something quite special.
This traveller's guide is more of an inside memoire in which you can reminisce.
Those moments we would enjoy when we were together whenever you think of this.
And I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite.
But you're an addiction and you're the death of me, but I can't get rid of it.
So basically the only advice I can give is to take the hand of the one person who's heart you're trying to claim.
And it's not hard, but I guarantee the journey will never be the same.
Try to take a chance.
And don't indulge into regret.
I'm an avid traveller to the heart, though I haven't reached it yet.
For the many previous parts have closed off its path.
So I continue to proceed to my paradise lost.
I can only walk down these blocks again and again.
And when I reach the ultimate end I'll start settling in.

Holler.

College

Friday, Sept. 11th.
Wow that day was fun. Spent most of the day at school getting shit done. Then went to little sister's party for her birthday.
Saw Marcus. Damn I miss you nigga. But you're doing your thing. i love you bro.
Wish I had a bigger set of balls to ask gorgeous to dance. LOL.
All in all that party was great, good vibes, good music, 2nd family time fa'rillz.
Then met up that night with JB, Mel, and Chino for some hookah sesssion. Tightttt.
Then went to Long Island for some ghost hunting. ha. good fun eh.
Ended at 5:30 AM when I KO'd at home.

Saturday, Sept. 12th
Slept in till like 3.
Then bounced to party at Croooklynn for homeboy Marco's bday.
That was fun....
Realized a whole lotta, but yes I did have a GREAT time =D
Full of fix with inebriation can be the best and worst feeling. lol
Ended that night about 5:30 AM as well.

Sunday, Sept. 13th



Woke up at about 3 again.
Spend this lovely day with my main women.
Lol. oh and kyle and tita. ha.
Had fun chillin' and eating dinner.
Night had to end I guess, but it didn't end on the best note.

I gots to re-evaluate this whole term of friendship, and it's meaning. And how family isn't the same due to certain aspects.
But I ain't tryna trip.


And now I must sleep for class is tomorrow. shit.


Drink my beer and smoke my weed.
But my good friends is all I need.
Pass out at 5.
Wake up at 10.
Then wake up and do it again.
Man, I love college.

Ambitious

Stuck at school at 4:03 P.M.


I think I'm about to just dip.
Fuckin' rain sucks. Day is so disappointing. Wasted two hours of my life at this stupid psychological experiment. Class was early as fuck.
Damn.

All I been stuck doing, is writing lyrics. Every moment I'm writing lyrics. If it's not lyrics it's a poem.
I need beats. Both produced and acoustics.

I can't go to the studio today because it's little sister's birthday. Katrina Cortes. Watched her grow up and took her as my own little sister as well.
She's 17 now, and she's talented, I wish the best for her.
I finally get to see Marcus tonight.. Fuck. lol.


And on that co-chair note. Damn it's pretty stressful and the workload is definitley living up to it's hype. I just hope the best and I am giving my all.
And a job offer? I hope this works out for me.

Shit.
I'm about to get onto that DJ tip as well.

I'm about to stack on classes thru summer and winter.
Get done quick, then go to another school for digital music.
And then Culinary school with pops.

Holy shit. Talk about ambitious.

But I meant it when I said I'd get it done.

At least I hope lol.
No time for drama, though it loves to find it's way into my arms.



Haha.

Top 5 D.O.A (Slug)

So my first on the top 5 is Slug from Atmosphere.

Why do I love his music so much.

I tell youuu.

His raw flow and unique game he brings to Hip Hop is so fucking amazing.

time and time again he hasn't failed to inspire me in some way with what he wrote.

Using his "depression" as a tool.
Metaphors and symbolism to tell the world how the happiness can go super fucking wrong, but you just have to deal with it.

And when he collabs with Murs. It's all about women. Hahah

He has made his impact on my life, not only with his music, but with the people who listen to them as well.


My bro Napon told me a month back, that his girlfriend actually listens to Atmosphere.
And I told him then and there "Girls who listen to Slug are definite keepers."

Hahaha, I know a handful of girls who listen to Slug, and that's so fucking dope.
On another level.
They actually listen to his shit and bump to it and enjoy that shit.
I feel bad to those who haven't heard him yet.
Bump SLUGGO's SHIT!

I recommend his album When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint that Shit Gold

Let me find a shorty who rocks with Blu too haha.


Holllerrrr..


Next...

Method Man

Top 5

OOOOhhhh well..
This labor day weekend wasn't as eventful as it used to be.
Well for me at least.

Got back this morning at 7AM ughhhh, and woke up at 3. lol.

Happy birthday to Jessie Lee!!! <3




Well I just felt like posting my Top 5 Dead or Alive.
Next post I'll explain why.


This is hard just thinking about it damn. This is subject to change all the time >.<

1.Blu
2. Slug
3. Kanye
4. Method Man
5. Pac Div < I know it's 3 of them, but I can't help it.

This list is unique to say the least.

Haha peaceasy for now.

Forever

Gosh, I'm bored lol. Woke up at 130, because we went at it in Poker until 5AM.
Gash..
Started at 9, and pot kept raising due to many people just buying in.

And who is the ultimate victor?
Yours truly. Holller.
Don't judge me lol.

Last name ever, First name greatest. Like a sprained ankle, boy I ain't nothin' to play wit'.





But yea, lately alot of stuff goin' on. Alot on my mind. It's pretty clustered in my head. Ugh.

I'm always so bored.


"I used to want this shit forever, ya'll can have it back."
-Ye

Forgive Me.

I'm a horrible person.


And honestly I'm tired of living like this.















And on another note.
Let's just try.


I want to take you everywhere you want.
Because, simply; You deserve it.
Let me know yea?

Sweetest Language

School ain't bad.
It's been gettin' better =D


2 straight hits in a row. Damn I'm amp'd for tomorrows session!


Need to get my grind on!



"But my girl need more attention, then my record label desperate for hits."
- Blu

In Love

First day of school.
All I can say was pretty damn good.
All my teachers can speak proper english, and I understand.
Very respectful. lol.

And I'm just ready to do my ishhhh niggaaaaa.


Chillin' in the cut right now with my nigga Anthony.
Ah, first Baruch friend and now we back in action hahah.

Went to Hooters for dinner, and caught up. Dass mah nigga for real lol.


We're talkin' about the semester.

And I'm inlove with lifestyle that's about to take place.


"What can I say, I'm sorry."
-Jay-Z
Haha

Drunk & Hot Girls

So Yea, Poker with the fam. plus a buzz plus lifted. Pretty crazy lol..



Something about girls with a full on inberiation that can be so attractive and so un-attractive at the same time.
They can be ultimate skanks, but if it's you they show the love to that's great.

Or if they know how to control themselves even with their drunk ass, that's so amazing, but you're still so worried.



"I guess I'll take the liquid courage and the broken promises."

Yes

"I'm nobody's piece."


Wise words from a decent man .
heh.

-Cuzzo. Jason

Duh

Ugh.

Why don't you just realize shit sometimes.


But like... What's the point..


"Messin' me up my whole head...
..You're name is out my mouth like an ancient chant."
-ATCQ
















































propheezy.tumblr.com

Are you Fucking Kidding me?

Well here in Michigan, and done alot of shit already haha.


I still need to blow those purple clouds and live that Fast&Furious lifestyle shit.

But yea, I miss this place, and Kuya promises a great time all the time.


On a more down note, I fucking miss you.
You don't deserve me or my time.
But I just miss you, that's all.
I sound like a gay now.



I got another tattoo. Holler.

And I copped a gat.

Yea...



Till next time, peace & love

Age Old Question.

Wrote this today while I was at the park.
Stuck in my head, so I had to make it something.

Mentally preparing myself for the 12 hour drive to Michigan to see Kuya.

Ugh.......

I don't have time to worry about you.
But I can't stop.


.Age Old Question.



What happened to us?
As soon as I was asked this, I wondered.
I pondered.
It's all fights and arguments anyway.
I cowered this time because I knew it would get you upset.
What's the use of 1 more argument kept at bay.
But what do you say if we head back to the beginning.
No.
Forget that.
Every smile made to fade.
Every laugh gone to waste.
Every plate we scraped.
Every first kiss after every last date.
Every casual walk down the street.
Every time you made my heart skip a beat.
Every song I sang for your sake.
Every time I stayed on the phone with you because you were awake.
Every right I gave you, though you were wrong.
However, there's no sympathy gone.
Every day holds a new dawn.
There was a time where we had the most bragging rights.
It was us who would pan all the camera lights.
That all faded when we stopped getting better.
And though we were miserable, we were miserable; Together.
I knew I couldn't protect you.
But you were more than just special.
So down was a place I could never let you.
And the only time I lied to you, was actually; Never.
And after I've realized this I started to remember.
When you re-iterated your question,
What happened to us?
It was simple.

Love happened to us.

The Wackness.

Blogged from Jerick lol. Great quote.



Dr. Squires: Certain people you just can't trust, you know Luke?
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't smoke pot or listen to Dylan.
Dr. Squires: Never trust anyone who doesn't like the beach.
Dr. Squires: Never, ever, ever trust anyone who says they don't like dogs!
Dr. Squires: You meet someone who doesn't like dogs you alert the authorities immediately and you sure as shit don't marry them.




This is almost exactly us lol

“I Called Her A Bunch Of Times But She Barely Replied Now It’s December, I’m Driving, And She’s Like Where’s My Hi?”
-Anon.

Fuck It, My Heart Beat Slow.

And this youngin' that you doubted is about to get BUUUUZZZAAAYYY!

-Drizzy

Dancing in the Rain

I left the crib, got a phone and called my homie.
And I asked him, remind me why I'm tryin'?
And right before he answered I remembered my passion in the past
When I was scribblin' in my tablet to box out my mom and dads scrrappin'
To help me when my grandmother passed
Plus the many times I was loveless
And the times when I was broke
And this music made a way when I was hopeless..

He told me to remember the rain, it'll diminish the pain
Then he told me not to ask him again.


Everybody struggles, but we call it dancing in the rain.


-Alt. from Blu

Damn, my reality just set in.

Farewell friend. It's been a great run, honestly. And you are a great person.
You will be missed. Do big things.



Ummm.


I can't think.

I also want to thank those who've seen me in my vulnerable state.
It's rare, so don't get used to it.



Just testing my strength out.
holler.

Worxlife

Big up to Worx life for doin' there thing for real.

Partyin' last night was off the hook for realll. lol.


Too bad school's startin' next week.


Fuck.

Three Weeks.

lol. this shit is true too. heh.



I can honestly say that was the best three weeks of my life.
You wonder why?
Rather, let me tell you why not.
Because this faint memory of what I had experienced during this time is what I have got.
I'm an only child, so you can say I'm spoiled.
Attention craver so that my emotions are toiled.
Sensitive and emotional, yet my ego helped me to control.
Manifested with thoughts of romantical and fairy taled love.
Yet, my paper heart ripped through and through the whole 500 days of summer, spring, autumn, and winter over again.
Living with your lies day in and day out.
The only secret that could be kept was how you deserved to be tendered.
Tip my hat off to the demon, my communication I surrendered.
Ohhh, how you were in store for the worst.
Satirical since I’m the one who knew of this first.
I did have a genuine concern, yet I had to let you learn the hard way.
I was living your lie anyway.
Lady karma may have played a factor towards the beginning of my paradise.
I paid no attention to such a concept, though my lifeless adoration I sacrificed.
You were, are, a very important influence.
You’ve molded me in some aspects, and I know I’ve done the same.
You were, are, there to keep me in check, as I’ve done the same.
You might have thought I was oblivious, but I was aware of the pain.
In the end, you could look in the mirror and know you were the only one to blame.
You were the queen of my fallacies and you even let down my mistress Mari Juane.
You didn’t do it for me or for yourself.
You claimed your pride was as high as the skyscrapers.
But we all know how those collapse.
Rest in pieces to my heart, with the relapse.
Becoming your temporary savior, I admitted I couldn’t be that.
Your ego was matched, while mine was sublime.
You called yourself strong, we’ve seen you battle through distance and time.
Those close to you were just people with opinions because you knew, thought, you could handle.
Little did you know this vacation was sporadic.
Literally, opposites attract. And your body was beautiful, your emotions blue. Like the Atlantic.
And I can continue with these metaphors and wordplay, but I don’t think you would manage.
The fact of the matter was the way we all were taken advantage of.
The night before my preview of heaven showed was frustrating indeed.
But I never figured how much I didn’t realize.
I knew it all, but I didn’t accept the ugly truth.
Was definite about all, yet still uncouth.
Anger? Jealousy? Or plain love redefined.
Finally shown to the world, and I kept think about how much was wasted of my time.
But I would have gone for years and years if I knew I would have come to experience my slice of paradise.
It’s what the scriptures read; it’s what we all dream of when our bodies decompose.
The place where we all at one point in our lives have thought about.
Day 1 of my Three Weeks.
I was your number 1.
I was your confidant.
I was your soldier.
I was the one to say, I told you.
I was superman.
I was the world to you.
I was family.
I was the freshest and main squeeze.
I was the breeze on an autumn day that you needed to blow the beautiful leaves.
I was the highest peak of every mountain the world has seen.
I was the epitome of perfection during this period of time where MY life was serene.
You were the Queen, and yes I was King.
And I knew how real love was.
It wasn’t just a fling.
It was the real deal.
Your touch, your warmth, your trust, your words.
Your longing, your desperation, your vulnerability.
I utilized those and became the opposite.
And during these three weeks, I know we were above and beyond the time wasted.
I honestly know that all I experienced throughout this time frame wasn’t taken for granted.
It was treasured more than the last piece of gold on this undermined planet.
If only I could take the span of this three weeks and expanded.
But the rewind came into play, and I collapsed.
The end of my three weeks came, and I was back to reality. Back to my life in a relapse.
Now when we speak, our ego gets the best of us.
Pride tells no tales, but hides our vulnerability very well.
I’m longing for my three-peat.
Maybe if it does come, which I pray for, I’ll make it last for eternity.
I’m not begging, I’m just urging you to know that the three weeks we spent will never amount to the lifetimes you plan on having without me.
I might sound lousy.
But my heart could’ve never been so vital to your happiness.
I leave it up for you to decide.
For I never had a choice.

Growth

Well it's effin' 3:50
Can't sleep shiet.

Last night, which was Saturday night, the 15th, was fun. Party at jersey, belleville, then Taste of Asia for birthday celebration for Joy's bday. Urban Ecko celebration, performed too, twas fun.

Today barbecue in the backyard for Wisconsin fams, then they bounced back to cheeseville.


But yea, lately alot of shit goin' on in my mind. Life movin' fast, major shit gosta happen sooon.

Writing songs, getting ready for shit, poetry here and there.

This post is about my poetry. I usually write a sort of hip-hop vibed type of thing, but I felt over the time I've been writing, I've grown in my writing a bit.
I wish it would be that way for music as well hah, but we'll see.

This is a piece I felt I ultimately spazzed out on and shows my growth in my literary advances.
Just my thought. ha.
Enjoy if you read all this..


Call me stubborn, but I never wanted to understand why I’d constantly fall into your disbelief.
Maybe if my persistence runs along with your disbelief then I’d be the victor.
Maybe I should realize that I’ve been just as dismal as you have been, but I wasn’t the reason.
And I’m tired of covering up being morose with a fake smile in every picture.
Time and time again, I find your sympathy very much sweet.
But your ignorance wasn’t bliss; to me it was very much bitter.
In fact if I could compare your infatuation to my love,
You are the shallow end of the beach while the deep sea is where I would indulge.
I’m only human, and a male for that part, so I would admit I do fall into the animalistic thoughts of a beastly demeanor.
This is what you would call making love.
But I have to move past such an existence, for the odds of that would be like striking gold in my basement.
I don’t want to sound like a loser, but I’ve found that the alcohol and nicotine could be your temporary replacement.
I’m dumbfounded with the mere fact that you could be so much a part of me than I actually hoped for.
Maybe that wasn’t such a great idea to hope for, for maybe that was the downfall.
I love believing your lies for it makes you happy.
But at what cost must I falter for the sake of your pleasure.
I don’t even know what kind of effect I had on you or your intimate self.
Perhaps being oblivious to this knowledge would be for the better.
I can go on days praising you, but it’s just words from my wise.
Such as seeing heaven in your eyes was the most glorious disguise.
But you have been very much a part of me.
More than I realized.
And in the ultimate end I wish for your happiness.
I wouldn’t mind seeing the demise.
But I was never so spiteful.
Rather I remain blunt.
I would observe from a distance in a nonchalant manner.
But when the time comes I will tell you everything you should have heard from the start.
It’s not what you need, however, it’s what you want.
If you tell me how deep you’ve been hurt.
I’d have to cut you short.
Because you never took a second out of your omnipresent calendar to figure the sufferings I have burdened.
Yet we learn.
And what we yearn, is never worth the longing.
So I dare you to challenge me and call me wrong.
Because the concept of love is so overrated.
You are in fact the fallen angel in my visual that I have managed to create.
Find your wings, and learn to fly.
While I search for the goods in goodbye.

Inspuhrayshunal.

Amazing

Damn.

your words never ceased to amaze me…..imissyou…..not that you care….

but in the least you will always be brilliant in my eyes.

What I don’t understand,
Is how you can run your fingers through my
Soul, and still manage to keep
Your hands clean.
I feel like I’m leading a morbid life
But you make me feel,
Spotless.

Sometimes I get our names mixed up
And I call you, I
Because you made yourself such
A part of me.

Every tea break I make a toast
To your beauty;
A seed a goddess would envy,
And every moment your seed of beauty grows,
I grow.
And your beauty grows within me.

I believe that life,
Is too short to live the same day twice.
But you make every 24 hours
A different memory,
So the scrap-book of our time together
Looks like a jumbled mess of smiles and photographs.
But to us, it’s perfectly organized,
The way it should be:
Unique.

We’ve made our mark with a past,
And trust each other’s palms with the lines of our own.
What I catch myself smiling at though,
Is the idea that through all of these beautiful things…
We still have a future to leave footprints behind on.
Your smile, with mine,
And my hand, with yours.

-A.bomb.in.nation

Please Have Mercy on Me

Cousins from Wisconsin?!

Waordddddd?


Holler.




My eye is swollen as fuck.


"And I'll be damned if I do this for forever.
Everybody lookin' at me like I don't know better.
But I got to run if I'm ever goin' to forget her.
Because I've always been a go-getter."
-Slug

.Preparation.

Loved the little get-together that randomly went down at my place.
Fun fun fun.

Good times.


Yesterday sat in the D3 Meeting and admired how they kept shit rolling.
Then chilled at Margot's cribbooo.

I feel very ready and confident for the upcoming year as the Co-chair for FUSION.
I hope I do everyone proud ha.
We'll see how things go.


Nothin's slowin' me down.

Ohszzaa, I also wrote a new song, shieeeeeeeet hollerr. Still gots it.

Ego's on another level. Fa shaw.


"And what a new love, and dare I call it love."
- RGBreezy!

XP

Many have said Experience is the Best teacher.

Bittersweet.

Woke up at 10 because I had to get ready for a 10:30 pickup.
Lol, should have known they were running filipino time.

but yea, stuff has gone down as of late, but I'm not trying to be bitter about it.
Just wondering real hard, why you let shit like this happen.
Don't I make you happy?
It's whatever doe.


Anyway when I woke up I greeted my pops happy birthday lol.

Conversation proceeds as followed( < did that make sense?)
Me: "Happy 48th birthday if I'm not mistaken dad."
Dad: "43 nigga.. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt...(depressing monotone)"

30 mins. later
Dadd: "I'm fucking 43 and I don't own a house....... shiiiiiiiittt..(same monotone)"

Haha, I hope you enjoy tonight nigga.



Well, I been tryin' to write a new song, but it gets harder every time, super retarded.
Bbbbb buuuttttt.
Ah, peaceasy.



"People might change, but they never rearrange, so the strange things can be so different and be the same."
-Move.meant

Honestly

Honestly.

I feel like I've lost it all.
AGAIN.




Fuck.
I don't know why though.
and I don't know how.














What am I doin' wrong?

Super Stressed

Why?

Don't worry.
Just don't be an asshole and add to it.


Sometimes you have to notice and realize that shit isn't always funny.
Just stop frontin' and shit.



"You be havin' good thoughts, but the evils be revealin'."
-Q-tip

Last Night.

Shit. I won't front, IZZYFEST was effin' poppin' lol.

Great times with even bettter peoples. Vibes was good toooo haha.

Only downgrade was all the Lou Ferrigno's everywhere and the jackass who broke the pipe in the bathroom to end the paty, but overall it was bomb. lol.


Especially the F3...N reunion hahaha..


Got home at 5:45. Ouch. All goodie though. Enjoyed it so much.

Holler.


HAHAHA!

"It's crazy how you can go from being Joe Blow, to everybody on your dick NO HOMO!"
- Ye

NO HOMO! ha



F3...N



Good Peoples.

Drenched

Damn, late night ballin' is theee bestttt hahaha.

Felt great, and was drenched. Holler.

Hoopefully tomorrah is gonsta beee guuuddd



"I wanna get to know you."
- Joe

It's been a while.

Yea, on the reals doe.

It has been a while.


and in all honesty, it felt great.
hahah.





" They say if you Love it, you should let it out its cage and Fuck it, if it comes back then you know it's here to stay."
- Jay-Z

Above the Clouds

I'm too high up.
You can't bring me downnnn.

Shoot my ego down? LOL





I'm always the one with the last laugh doe.


"Be a star out your gang & aim above the clouds
And if you miss, you at least be amongst your own crowd.. "
- Blu

Lil Biht.

"Tell her get a man that ain't cheatin' on her ass."

-Drizzy lol

Blaw

"Let's rearrange, I wish you were a stranger I could disengage."
- The Fray



Somethings you just shouldn't know.




I hope it works for the best :up:

Around The World

Well. Wrote this yesterday. And I think it's fkin' bomb.

This is hands down the poem I would perform in an open mic!


Inspired by a funny guy.
Dedicated to YOU.



Let’s wake up in Vegas babygirl.
That’s the first stop to our 1 day trip around the whole world.
Where next?
I’m totally vexed, are you?
Endin’ up in a city where we ask Parlez Vous?
Francais?
Let’s hit up Manila, we can kick it where my aunt stay.
This will only take a couple of hours if we about to do this all in one day.
I’ll bring you to each and every wonder.
If I counted right it’s 8.
Yea the last one is when we go to heaven for part of the day.
My little innuendo for makin’ love.
But no time to waste next stop is the real city of love.
Would that be Italy?
No, Spain.. No Portuagal. No Venetia?
Oh wait, these are the languages baby, and I’m willin’ to teach ya.
I’m willin’ to get lost in Cancun or Key West.
We can then head to Thailand to catch the best sunset.
Success.
We’ve hit a lot of major points on the map.
But the world is what we have in store so let’s get strapped.
Hop on this love boat and take a quick nap.
Next place we can head to is India.
And it might sound corny, but yea I’m kind of into ya.
Hah, let’s go to Tibet.
I’ll lay you down girl and put you to beedd..
Ouch another corny line.
But the world has to know that you are mine.
This ain’t even the honeymoon.
It’s an upgraded first hand look of a brochure.
And sure.
When it’s said and done we can go for a second round of tours.
You still trippin my love; at home is where you should leave the drama.
Our love is set in front of us, and the view is in panorama.
And we sippin’ on the Cuervo in the Bahamas.
Okay sweety, let’s check out Tahiti.
I’m getting’ type greedy, because this is the 4th time I’m gon’ whisper those sweet nothins.
No complainin’, no frontin’.
But the world does not contain a finer beauty then you, now I’m buggin.
But anywhy.
Now we lie on the white sandy beaches of Boracay.
Enjoy the breeze baby, no trouble, don’t even ask why.
Time to finish this 6 star trip in a 6 star place like Atlantis in Dubai.
Slowly drink the essence of this amazing fine wine.
While I’m breathtaken because I see everything and more in your sweet eyes.
And we can spend the whole night here; the only thing as beautiful as you is this sunrise.
But c’mon shawty, a little more Don P. could never hurt you.
Best believe I just took you all around the world before your 10 P.M. curfew.
So come with me love, never hold your breath.
Well hold it for a few though, because I’m waitin’ for this next paycheck.

Realization

It's midnight.

I have to pick my father up in an hour.



Times is hard, but it'll work out.
For real though, it's stressful/frustrating.


I guess I'm just being selfish though.
I'll let you rock.
It took this long to realize that you might be better w.o me.

I don't know, but this isn't something you sleep off apparently.
Because I just tried to an hour ago lol.

A Ghetto Love is the Law that We Live By.

So yea. I need a job ASAP. I am picky fuckkkkkkkkkkk.. lol






"Ayo I've never been in love, but everytime I'm burstin' in and out it, it seems its shorty that I'm thinkin' of."
- Mr. Cheeks

Real.

" But I put her car in park and never let her cry alone. I listen to her heart beat because it plays my favorite song.
- Weezy


Holler.
The day was quite swell.

Erm, but for real doe, I wrote this poem sometime ago. And I guess this one can be unleashed.

I digs it.
Hope you all do to.
To my 3 fans who read. and the other 2 who anonomously read ;-D

............

And I look at you, but you give that shrug.
He’s trickin’ you and I’m real with you.
It must be that love type of tug.
I’m the one giving you the real life hugs.
And they’re the ones leaving you with the beep back buzz.
Because I’m here and they’re far, but you really don’t give a fuck.
Because it’s my sweat, my tears, and my blood, but you pick him and stay stuck.
It’s lust.
Better yet it’s infatuation that you swapped for your love bug.
And if you feel that’s real, then why is he giving the time to those other sluts.
He’s a sweet talker and a true to life player, you think you can change his ways.
For him you risk friendships and your family, and you know I was clutch.
Maybe the third times the charm, everyone else know it ain’t, but for you it’s a must.
Maybe that’s the last time he realizes how bad he fucked up.
NOT
Truth be told he gamed you up, yet still you hold your breath, BUT.
You hear his voice, see his face, have those dreams, and to him you’re just another alternative for him to bust his nut.
So now what?
You gonna run back to them AGAIN? Damn dude, I thought you weren’t that easy to get shoved.
You know I’m STILL right, and your giving me the same old sorries, please just SHUT THE HELL UP.
We’ve been through thick and thin, and then our connection goes abrupt.
Drop me in a hot second to give your all to this wanna be thug?
Damn I’m lost, I don’t even know what to do, but I won’t give up.
If I explained the situation to everyone I know, they’d give me that phrase, “Tough Luck”
But you know, YOU KNOW, I’m different. I’ve been through the good times, and outlasted the rough.
I just wish you knew how stupid you are and how deep you let yourself get cut.
And for this lame ass bitch, you let US become corrupt.
They’re immature and childish, just kick it with me and let me give you that back rub.
And you may call him your man, but I’m the one where you keep your real type love.
You ain’t gotta call me your lover, best friend, ride or die, and all that.
Because in the end, I’m gonna be all of the above.


Ehhhhhh.. It's whattevvaassss =D



" No letting go, no holding back."
- Wayne Wonder

Tsk.

You straight up like a fuckin' cat tryin' to get that fuckin' string.
"I know the difference between a bitch and a B. nigga."
-Hov

Stop being so fucking stupid?


Whatever I guess we can't help ourselvs.
We just keep wishing right?


This ain't even out of malice, spite, nor envy.
It's just fucking annoying. And I'm here. Let me know nigga.




" Girl we GROWN! and if he ain't gon' treat you right, then I ain't gon' treat you wrong."
-Weezy

Not so little you and I, anymore.

"Who can take your place?"
-Lifehouse








Fucks, addicted as shit to Poker again.. Nooo...


Buts anywayy, bout to drive henry to QCC, and hopefully get this niggas college life going..

Holler!!

Poker night again tonight!!!!


But ermm I'm broke as a joke heh.



"I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."

-Jigga

Takot.

Fuck. I'm scared.
Alone in this household.

An impromptu poker night was fun..
I'm on fire I won't lie.
That will all change with the big bucks though =[


I'm kind of scared and alone. Come sleep with me =[




"See there's so many ways I can approach you..
I can either start off like, 'Scuse me miss', but shit that's too old school..
And I can flow to you, but that's too cliche..
Plus I don't bust to bust nuts, I bust over beat breaks..


Now, don't get it twisted broke niggas need love too;
and underground rappers like to chill at the club too..
I wanna get buzzed, bet drunk and get crunk..
Get a chick to kick it with when I'm feeling fucked up...


You say you want the real but it's the real I'm saying, so what the deal?"

-Blu
Nigga is the reallll

You know what.

Then you had the nerve to say your hurt, and fix your mouth to blame the Cuervo.
Then in me confide ,you're compromising,
I'm just like; You know what you chose.
I don't wanna say it again, but here it goes, Fuck it! We're just friends,
now where's my clothes?






-Pharell

Repeat.

What's up.
Just got back from the gym with JB.. Holla at mah gym pahtna.




Anyway, History is repeating itself.


I knew it was too good to be true.


Fuckkkkkkkkks it....



"Even when the sky comes falling
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty little hand in mine
Even when we're down to the wire babe
Even when it's do or die
We can do it baby simple and plain
Cuz this love is a sure thing.."
-Miguel

Yes.

Well today was good.

The movie Up was real good haha. So it was cool.

Enjoyed the day at Bryant park with lovely peoples. Holler.


Then hit up queens and chilled with some goons.


Nothing spectac. about todays..

So hopefully we'll see how it plays out from here.



" In the streets people ask about me and you, I tell 'em we go through what most people do."
-Common

What goes around..?

"Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it."
- Jay-Z


Well, just got back from Long Island. For napes grandmothers birthday.
Twas fun, and crab fishing was soo fucking fun hahahha.
Feelin' like an older dude, fishin' drinkin' beer.
Caught a mean headache though. Fuck. And I might be getting sick.

But anyway....
Not too ecstatic at all..
Fuckin a.

I guess it's just karma... Since I broke a heart, I'm gonna end up back like..
Fuck it. Fuck you.



"I want you to know, it's a little fucked up, that I'm stuck her waiting, at times debating. Telling you I've had it with you and your games, so I'm here with my heart thinkin', Where'd You Go?"
- Fort Minor, Alt.

Umm...

"I feel for her, I really do..."
- PM Dawn


So that youtube gathering was fun. Funny shit.
Traphik and Kevjumba were basically the highlights.
Took pics, and freed with Timothy DeLaGhetto (I personally think that's the most horrible first name in the English Language. Fuck it, make it history)

Jerked our life away hahahha.
Jerkin' is how we live now lmfao.
Anywayyyssss. So that day was quite cool.

And the night just slowly turned in the the most horrible fail.
But it's cooool right? We make the best out of nothing.

"He love life because he knows that it dies out eventually."
-Anonymous

Smoking Love Gun

And that's why I feel for you,
That's why i'm ready to kill for you,
That's my babygirl lost for you,
Call me,
I'ma come through and let it off for you.

It aint your fault boo,
I'm always here for you to talk to,
Hold your head high when you walk through,
Sometimes the devil's temptation would force you,
One thing about the Lord,
He'd never cross you,
Look at all the bad things that they tried to do to you,
And you're still queen of this earth and you're beautiful,
Everything happens for a reason,
If you ever need me,
Call me,
I'm coming through squeezing.
- Jada


^^ Word is bond.

Vacation

Pops just left to Calliiifornniaaa..

House freee for 2 weeks. Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnz.

Well, we'll see how everything goes.


As for today it was nice seeing some faces that I miss.

And hope tomorrow goes well.

Holla..
Peaceasy

Angel

Well...

"It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too."
-Lips of an angel by Hinder


So like 2 nights ago, I had the dream, I never expected.
I'm not tryin' to make anything of it, but I feel like it's "bad luck."
It's really weird, but it felt so fucking right, and it felt good...
Dreams are just meant to tease us though word?


Peaceasy world.

The Truth

"I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I admit I fucked up
but everybody fuck up."
-Something That You Forgot - Lil Wayne



Truth, I did fuck up, and I never had the confidence to fix it when I had the chance. I wasn't lazy, and I wasn't wrapped up in fixin' my popularity.
I was lost.
plain & simple...


And I give it to the 2 most important ladies in my life.Even though their the biggest trifling bitches.
They always got the best of me.
I just hope I got the best of them in return.


And I'm here talkin' to my friend about this love shit.
I say just let it rock, and what ever happens happens.
It's all so much easier when you don't give a shit.
But it's hard to surpress it.


And if they don't see how much you are willing to lay on the line then they are just going to settle for less.

Some just don't realize the light until it fades...

Decisions

......


She asked me, " How do you do it?"
Confusion striking my mind.
Wondering if this was a hit in a way that's sublime.
So I asked for clarification.
She said, "How do you tell someone you're inlove with them, without being mistaken for infatution?"
First of all, how would you assume I'm inlove, and second, who is it you desire?
But I responded, "Fuck it, just tell them." As if it was that easy, now I'm just being a liar.
What else could I do, but act hypocritical.
This abstract concept of love seems so difficult.
That's why I pay no miind to it.
I just let shit flow.
Even if I'm the dude you miss though.
I just have to let it rock and hope for the best.
I guess.

Once Again

This happens constantly.
Most of the time.

I just plain old lose the passion for certain things.

Feels like, empty.

I can't explain it.

Seeing others morose seems ridiculous, yet I'm like that alot.

Fuckin' A.


Well what can you do right?

Blame It

Updateeeee


Rhyming is overrateddd nowww shiett. lol

So I haven't wrote shit in a while, and alot has happened over this timeframe.
So I guess here's somethin'


Blame it


Over time we come to realize
What's true and how we spot those deep lies.
We can blame it on naive actions or unspoken denials
If my regrets were transposed into distance, it would go for miles.
Living everday, living a lie.
You are the one to blame.
Well, to blame others is a sign of immaturity and makes you weak.
But this is a legitimate reason since we don't know how to speak.
We don't know how to communicate
Yet we speak everyday.
We look into each others eyes, but we still are blind.
I'm an honest guy, speak my mind, and wear my heart on my sleeve.
You have the nerve to stay stuck up, bitch please.
But then again, after all this time it remains the same.
It is your fault, but I'm still the one to blame.

Compensation

Fuck you for never understanding.
Using your every sorrow to redirect your bitterness towards me.
Cowering in some excuse of a lie, where I was trying to be different.
Knowing how I felt, yet taking advantage of what was promised.

Yet deceived I felt, and unloved, I stay loathing in my failures.
Only to believe that looking ahead to more disaster is my calling.
Unless you finally realize, that you're the one to blame.

Optimism

"It's been a while, since I've gone and fucked things up, just like I always do."


Maybe it's my fault.
maybe it's yours.
Maybe it's our's.
At least our sensations have been put to a tremendous halt.
It's all lost, dead and gone.
I just have to look at the future, but that's no fun.
I get a kick from the past, and those moments we tend to miss.
Moments where we were next to each other, sharing something, making me write love shit, such as this.
No, excuse that, this is not for love, nor for the weak of heart.
My heart's turning to callous, and it's learning to distance itself apart.
I was optimistically expecting this feeling from the start.
So if I fall hard, it wasn't as bad as I knew it was going to be.
But maybe; it was just that bad.
or maybe, you were just that bad.
I learned to see the god in you.
Divine, such that the stars were your eyes, and the rain were your tears.
The sky was our world, while this earth was our sphere.
it was our tier, our level of contemplation.
But you're oceans were shallow, and the tidal's went through me like nations.
These metaphors are all I have.
This pain is what I hate.
Your ignorance is my fortitude.
And the past is too late.
I'm looking ahead, tunnel vision is aiming straight.
I've made my moves, I also laid back and tried to wait.
I guess nothing was ever good enough, was that what you were trying to say?
To make a long story short, I miss you.
And I reminisce about the past because it's a feeling that's blissful.
I'm staying persistent in my optimism, I'm looking ahead, never holding my breath.
And I'm happy, because every new day is another day closer to my death.

Normalcy.(Normal-See)

She said, life is like a box of eggs.
The fuckin' nerve.
So I guess if you live life, it's supposed to go rotten after a while.
Thanks for a nice try at a new modern cliche, but that shit didn't even almost make me smile.
I make shit too complicated, I want to go back to normalcy.
Take a harder look because there's more to me.
I guess we moved too fast, let's go back to when we met formally.
That's almost impossible, I guess you finally got bored of me.
I guess now, I'm back to wishing you would come back and adore me.
I'm not gonna be greedy and make you pick, his ass or me.
I knew we were on the same page, but obviously it was a different story.
I'm a normal ass dude, abnormal shaped body,an amazing personality, you need not say sorry.
Because through all the practicality, you avoided reality, and instead of opening up, you went past the formalities.
I'm not made of money, nor am I made full of love.
I don't plan to stay nice, nor act like a thug.
I do wear my heart on my sleeve, so I'm a road soldier.
Don't act surprised because you know that I'll hold you.
She's got my heart on tap, now I'm on a lifeline.
Like a junkie who got too close to the limelight.
I'm ticking and in any second I can blow like the dynomite.
But since I'm oh so normal, I'm just another expendable invitation.
Another marionette looked upon as an obsolete consolation.
But I'm also unique, so this usually sets off elation.
But since I'm normal, it will be a while before I break off this fixation.
Thinkin' about it, maybe my life IS like a box of eggs.
I won't let it rot, just throw each and every yolk towards the temple of your head.
I'm normal, so I'm gonna stick with this sizzle and walk with this sunnyside up.
You're OVER Easy and your life is scrambled, and babe, I don't give a fuck.

Say Hey There.

Love this. On rotation for everrrr..
Best lyricist ever.

"Whacha gonna do?
Slam doors, break a glass?
Maybe pass out on the kitchen floor with your naked ass
She still makes time to hate me
But basically, I'm overbooked - no emotional vacancy
Complacency seems so simple
Like fuck it, let me be the one you fight and call Mr. Right
It's an addiction, bound to stick around
'Cause a junkie won't bounce till he hits the ground

These drugs ain't as good as we wish they were
This buzz doesn't keep us from missing her
That love that built all of this emphasis
Built enough guilt to kill Electra and Oedipus
It's easier to leave it there
Each time I see your tears
Makes me need a beer to relieve the fear
I wanna keep a clear sky
And fly away like a meteor outta here
Maybe next year I'll reappear

Sometimes you make me feel like such a prick
That even I'm convinced that I'm the one that's sick
You can fuss and bitch, you can cut your wrists
Or you can choke on that blood from the tongue you bit
And when you acted up, you BESTA believe I blessed you back
I got a fuckin' fan base that can attest to that
I'm returning this bleeding hearts club membership card
'Cause I want no motherfucking part of it

We're just two dogs on all fours
It's a tug of war for who loves you more
Blame it on tours, or locked bathroom doors
Or maybe it's cause my voice was louder than yours
And I'll be damned if I do this for forever
Everybody looking at me like I don't know better
Instead I gotta run if I'm ever gonna forget her
Cause I've always been a go-getter

And now I got a head full of better off dead
I followed down them steps and slept in the wrong bed
If I had a breath of self-respect left
I'd set fire to the box spring to help it catch
Let these ashes represent the mattress
Director left the set, but nobody told the actresses
So she's still acting as if we scheduled a practice
And my soundtrack is compromising her theatrics

(You) You remind me of me
It's not a compliment, get your song on
(You) Who you trying to be?
Got no tolerance left for drama
(You) You would like to go free
Jump off the fence, let your claws out
(You) You remind me of me
Rough up all of them till they gone

There, here we go ahead with my threats to leave
Like I've ever left cause she wouldn't let me breathe
Instead I kept it deep it enough to get you to believe
That I'm incapable of escaping and setting you free
Well, I'ma open up that map and see the nation
Call it vocation, call it a vacation
You can find me at the airport, waitin'
Or maybe I'll be chain smoking down at the train station
With the pose of a mack and my clothes in a sack
Gotta go, and I don't know when I'll be back
Get my last pay check, smash and make steps
Gone on the road with ATMOSPHERE in the tape deck."

Violence

You know what? Fuck it.
I’m honestly tired of fucking trying.
Where the hell are we headed, when all you do is continue your lying.
I admit, my insecurities eat me alive.
But that doesn’t mean shit, no more am I trying to hide.
If I put a picture of a heart on my broken middle finger, it would only be representing my heart.
Because apparently, that’s what I had, and that’s what I ended with from the start.
I could fucking careless, and I’m tired of bottling up this crap.
Next person to act up, I swear to God he’s getting clapped.
I never want to use the Lord’s name in vain, but God as my witness.
I’m gonna take over these fake motherfuckers, you can call me the sickness.
This was the last emotion I wanted to be in, but I had no choice.
You never notice my desire, actually, I can tell you’re just ignoring my voice.
Your damn naivety is just another excuse.
I’d spill my heart out, but fuck it, what’s the use?
They say love makes you do crazy things and shit.
But I’m not crazy, just seriously fucking angry, so I don’t love you bitch.
I can’t help it, I can’t help it, you just get me so aggravated.
I thought there was maybe something, but it probably wasn’t stated.
As you can tell I’m pretty fucking ticked off.
Ain’t no way I’m gonna fuckin sleep this shit off.
And don’t act like you don’t know, you’re playing so dumb.
You’re fuckin’ around, I’ll let you have your fun.
I guess I did overanalyze your character for something I wished.
I guess I’m just another nigga, nothing special.. What a bitch.
The way the sun shined on your sweet special smile.
What I thought was your love, was more of denial.
I was so for being next tto you and joking around just for kicks.
And you’re work clothes could never hide that love from your hips.
I could dream about your lips and taste its good lovin’
Or spend our hours whispering our sweet nothings.
But it isn’t my fault, I never messed shit up.
Your shallow heart is what kept this shit up.
What the fuck ever, it’s the umtteenth time with this damn pain.
I’m honestly bewildered, how the fuck do I maintain.
Thanks for the rose petaled road you paved to your heart.
And much more gratitude for putting that fork in the road while it was dark.
Whatever, it’s no use.
It’s not my decision, I guess you get to fucking choose.
The way I use my words and incorporate violence is just a device.
I’m not always, mr. sensitive, mr. fuckedover, mr. sidelineguy, mr.justafriend, mr.loser, mr. 2nd/3rd/maybeeven4th best, nor am I mr. nice.
I just learned to put my emotions sometimes through a poem.
It’s simple girl, either love me, or leave me alone.

Longing.

Girl, I apologize in advanced for trying to get intimate.
But for just a minute of your life, I want to make that difference.
Dude dropped you faster than a heartbeat.
But I was quick to pick you up, and keep you here forever.
To your heart I proceeded with caution from the start.
But the only thing it seems I was promised was a broken heart.
Just look pass the past and I assure you the futures much better.
This present I give you is what I would treasure whenever we spend moments together.
I’m vulnerable girl; I’m not scared to admit it.
And truth be told, I was never the type to be the player and try to get in it.
It’s the time I’ve put into our relationship in which I invested.
The way I keep coming back for more was how I was tested.
Running back to friends and family for advice.
They say, you have to be different, you can’t always be nice.
Apparently I shoot for the stars, meaning I go for these really out of the way ladies.
But she’s almost so perfect, I keep hoping to myself, just maybe.
My best friend constantly asks, How do you find them?
I can only respond by explaining that she’s my princess, my Maria, Maria. Hell She’s my Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
Not only is her personality great, but her freakin’ features amaze me.
She smells like heaven, she looks like an angel
She moves like the wind, she’s the truth in my fable.
She’s all for her own, I’m all for her pride.
I pray for that chance, and wish to know what’s on her mind.
I love it when we talk. And I hate it when she leaves.
But when she leaves, I love to watch her walk.
Her swagger is in tact.
Her steez is unmatched.
When dudes try to violate, they see me next to her and start to fall back.
Our conversations stretch from minutes to hours.
You can tell I fell hard with the way that I cower.
Her eyes tell a story
Her lips portray beauty.
Her body is an art.
And Her smile always moves me.
And they say love is blind, but that can’t be true.
Because the love I view is seen everytime I look at you.
If I kept on going I’d definitley be out of line.
Because the fact remains that you still ain’t mine.

Hot Damn.

Well, it's 3 AM. and I'm sitting in my living room, trying to work on this fucking essay and shit.
But
I can't stop thinking.
I only think this hard when I want something bad. Not good.
But I'm disgusted, and confused.
Lies and excuses are pathetic.


Damn, I sound like a sappy emo.

Peace.

Apathy

You've loved me at my worst.
You've had me at my best.
But you chose to break my heart.
Maybe it was the fact that you were never really into something that we had sparked.
Or maybe past loves have started to reappear from the bluntness of the dark.
But I've fought, and done my part.
I now believe that our end was foreshadowed from the beginning of the start.
We hope for changes, but seasons are only promised.
I hope for chances, but I'm left with no hommage.
As BIG said, I'm far from timid.
I ONLY make moves if your hearts in it.
But I'm in a state where I'm past being bitter.
Reminiscing about good times, trying to forget her.
I'm about holding my own, and greatness comes in pairs.
So I'm only amazing, since you're not there.
I'm tired of sounding pathetic.
But give me credit.
Everytime I said "I Love You," I meant it.

Truth be Told

Probably the realest shit I've ever written.



I'm tired of hearing there are other fish in the sea.
It really doesn't matter because I'm hooked.
I was never for cliche's
I was always used to doing things my way.
I'm lost and insecure for no reason.
I guess you were my optimism.
But I was always the sad clown to end up in your spell.
You were just so damn nice, I thought I knew you too well.
If I had the heart to tell you how I truly felt.
I would've died every single time.
Instead I constantly cower, waiting for a sign.
What was really in your heart, I believe it was truly sublime.
I remember asking Moms;
Why can't we get the girl we ultimately want?
She says, "You can't."
Why Not?
She says, "Every girl is shallow."
Not this one.
She says, "Yes, that one."
How sure are you?
"Very sure," she said.
How am I supposed to know what I want in the end?
I'm tired of being neglected being known as the friend.
If I asked pops, he would tell me,
"Just have sex chicks.
Doesn't matter who you get with.
At least you got your play."
You know what Dad, we'll talk another day.
You were never the one to go for advice.
Your lifestyle wasn't the type I really admired.
I was never good at moving slow.
I guess that's why everyone in my life, mistakes it for love.
That word and phrase that's loosely abused.
I wish I knew where I was trying to go with my words.
But your image pops up one too many and it hurts.
As Slug said it best,
Most of this garbage I write, that people seem to like,
is about you, and how I let you infect my life.
A good many said be persistant
But that can only get you so far.
No... I'm not okay.
What the hell am I to do?

Ligaya

Title is name of song that I can't stop listening to.
Tagalog tune by Eraserheads.

No relation to this poem I wrote, just didn't know what to title it.

Ligaya = Happy.





..

And here we go.
What this is supposed to feel like, I don't know.
They often say you reap what you sow.
And as of now, I have just reached my all time low.
My fears have been rekindled.
Stuck in the situation as I dwindle.
Everytime I fall, it hurts harder than the last time.
You think I'd learn by now because I always come off fine.
But if you only know how I endure.
I get taken advantage of because my intentions are always pure.
From heartache to heartbreak to straight up deception.
Happy whenever we get into conversation and textin'.
But I was always close friends with your best friend Rejection.
I'm tired of the pain and the suffering is unbearable.
Aggravatged of being taken advantage of.
I'm looking for answers, that's why I stare up above.
But everytime I'm with you, it seems I get better.
But you play that undertone smack, and show no effort.
I admit it breaks me, but my confidence allows me to persever.
I still fall hard whenever you're near.
But like I've said before, I'm afraid.
What am I afraid more of?
Scared of falling for you even deeper
Or you alienating me for falling as much as I did.
When we walk side by side, I wish I could hold your hand.
But who's decision is it to enable that chance.
Truth be told, I don't know what I should do.
I guess it's the same old story.
But I know you're my chance for the perfect revision.

Man on the Side

Just somin' I wrote off to blow off steam n ish.


Well I'm here, while you're there.
Sittin' speechless w/ my dismal stare.
You think you're happy, you know you still hurt.
I know how I hurt, yet I still see the flirt.
I still believe we are destined to shine bright.
But for now I'm still the diamond in the dirt.
It's humor how I tell you to work through stress.
And how I'm the one that knows how to live your life best.
How am I supposed to give you advice when you brush it away?
How do I listen to you when there's nothing to say?
I have my own life, I got moves to make.
But seeing you vulnerable puts my life on break.
Each time I try to progress, you put it to a halt.
You go for the dumbasses that fuck with your heart.
Now I told you from the start.
And I'm in just as bad of a state as you are.
But you don't understand I was always capable of dealing with your pain.
No matter how violent the thunder you would cause, I'm still smilin' through the rain.
They say it's better to give than to receive.
But i give all I can and receive nothing for your relief.
Actually in return, I just obtain more of your grief.
I ask you who was there when your old flames died.
Who as consoling you as you would lay and cry?
I'm exhausted and bitter; don't you ever say I didn't try.
I will no longer be your man on the side
I'm the man looking past.
Now to how shit was.
But what I'm going to make of it.

Fallen

Debated for a while to put thisup, but for my ninja Jericho I did. ahahah
It's not too good, but w.e
"Like it, Love it, Hate it, Whatever, just Enjoy it"
(From Rin and the Rox)haha


And I fell; I fell so hard.
But you didn't fall with me.
You just watched.
Maybe it's easy for you because of your options.
But I was never the type to be picky.
Let's be real, you're shooting for the stars.
But you didn't know I was the constellation.
I loved how we got lost whenever we got into conversation.
We adapted to each others humor.
I loved how you loved that I loved to make you love our laughs.
Secretly grateful that our souls crossed paths.
We are so compatible, there was no denying.
Together on my bed and your bed we were lying.
Obviously it wasn't physically, but rather telephonically.
I was dialing the tune of my heart.
But for me it was hard.
Hard for me to not fall as fast as I did.
This is no plea for your heart.
Nor am I trying to profess my love.
It's a reminder in fact to those moments we would enjoy.
Unless of course, I was played, then I was the toy.
For dudes like me, this is common.
Or was I just rebound to you like Rodman.
Your attitude now is not the one I admired.
But then again it's probably just that time of month.

Stressed Out

Well something I just wrote because stress is a mawfucka ain't it.


Stress is something I don't plan on keeping on my back.
It's quite depressing but getting rid of it is the key.
I don't need tobacco to ease me, and crack is wack!
I bet none of you experienced a stress like this, uncompelling and unattractive, nothing like this you see.
I keep it non-chalant so it's not that known to the world.
It ain't hard hiding it, but getting rid of it is half the fight.
Stresses from work, to school, family, friends, and of course girls.
So what els can I do?
I chose the best alternative; something I enjoy. Yea what I do is write.
Not right in the direction I turn.
But write with pen in book to see what I can yearn.
This stress sucks, it can even burn.
I just keep on writing tryin' to teach myself. To see if I can learn.
I need my zone of direction and content.
THe insurmountable waves that attack seem so tangible, there's no end.
It's alright, i can fight for myself, I've never been a quitter.
Each time I knock my stresses out, there's a new one delivered.
I'm fine with it though as it helps me get my ego bigger.
Sometimes I wonder if I truly write for relief.
Or have I started writing to finally speak.
It's amazing how the stresses get you to the road less travelled by.
But I take that route anyway. Why you ask? Well it's because I'm one hell of a guy.
But enoug of the conundrums.
I don't even know what that means.
Enough of this stress bullshit, it's time to come clean.
You are basically my shadow that won't leave
A constant annoyance on my back, sort of like an itch.
Hop off, let me breatheeeee.
Stress, you ain't my friend, you're my bitch.

Modern Day Juliet/Luv Sic Chronicles

Part Thrice.

last and final piece.



....
When I talk about Dirty Sanchez, it's the old perverted yet funny Spanish dude.
To the other fools, it's taking their finger across your face in a way that's quite rude.
The Forbidden Fruit from you that I long for is your sensual and sweet imagination.
The others see that not as a food, but an area of complete penetration.
When I offer to eat out, I'm talking about fine dining at your favorite hot spot.
To the others, it's using their tongue to find you're so called "g-spot."
I'm all about getting inside of you, but I speakabout your thoughts, and in time we will make sweet love.
So forget about the others with their hidden agenda, playing off as sweet, but actually just trying to fuck.
Sorry for my vulgar statements, but it's appropriate for those with no class who I can't stand.
I write this as an ode to those like me, that have genuine feelings and a great plan.
To have no gimmicks and be a real and honest man.
This is truly for you, because you don't deserve the useless pain.
And when you finally love me, you know I was never like them, I am NOT the same.
... I remember once upon a time, I loved you Juliet, it's true.
Well, there is no once upon a time, because I still do.

Modern Day Juliet/ Luv Sic Chronicles

Part Twice.

Oh my dear Juliet, you know it was always so hard for me to express.
The love you have brought will slowly start to manifest.
Together we will move in harmony towards the West.
We can call it destiny.
The love you have shared was for me especially.
Knowing you're there brings out the best in me.
I call you modern day Juliet because you are Shakespeares description.
You are that imperfect woman with advanced technology in which he envisioned.
That means you know about love, and you know what you desire.
You stay true to your decisions and that's what I truly admire.
You do front and pretend
But you play hard to get so I don't get offended.
We're exclusively for each other, and it's a given.
Our affair is Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet rewritten.
We talk often so we won't be so smittened
I check on you daily to see how you're livin'.
I find it quite hard to leave this discretion.
But it's my minor insecurities that brings this to my attention.
Juliet was struck and had only Romeo on her mind.
Am I the Romeo you were hoping for and longing to find?
Don't want to be offensive or come off quite rude.
But has our conversations been put aside while you talk to other dudes?
I apologize, but I call you the modern day Juliet not as a compliment.
That's why you're imperfect, yet to romance you is something in which I am quite confident.
So my Juliet, with you I would fall in love during our slow dance.
As I make an advance and advance to your hands.
I hold them to try my best to be that man.
Do all I can
And be your Romeo, but I can't.
I can only be myself and my honest expression is my greatest gift.
And my word is what I promise and it's all I can give.
You are my modern day Juliet and I'm not yet good enough.
I'm a bit overweight, lazy as hell, and financially broke.
But if you see through all that you'll know that I'm more than just dope.
I'm praying that we'll have that chance and I can show you romance, so hop on my boat.
But the best have always said, the worst thing you could ever do is hope.




part thrice tomorrow.

Modern Day Juliet/Luv Sic Chronicles

This is a fcking long piece, so I don't mind if you like can't read it all haha.
Actually gonna break it down to three parts.


I think this one is better, but who knows.
Workin' on it for some time.





Part 1.

I remember once upon a time, I loved you Juliet.
Being stuck under the rain was the only time I saw you wet.
Your body shaped to perfection indeed it racks my brain.
But to all the others your ass supposedely drives them insane.
When I call you a tease, it's only because it's so hard to try and get you to hang out.
They call you a tease because they can't wait to see how low you go with your mouth.
When I say I want head, I'm talking about your thoughts on our relation.
And to them head is their wishes for an oral fixation.
When I ask about positions. I'm wondering where your job tends to move ya.
When they think about positions they're thinking of Kama Sutra.
When I tell you to spread, it's your words that need to be said.
When they hear spread, they're thinking of your legs.
When I ask about your sheets, I'm wondering about the books you like and those you read.
When they hear sheets they want to know where you are and when they can get in your bed.
When I say 69, it reminds us of the texts we sent to each other in one hour total.
To them that number is an eager approach of trying to flip you over.
When I say I want a Portugese Breakfast, I want to be with you in Brazil eating eggs and bacon bits.
They hear a breakfast like that, then they get to thinking of you and kinky sex skits.



Part 2. Tomorrah.

Somin' 'Bout Us.

Bumpin' hard to Daft Punk - Something About Us
Great track heh.

So tired.

Tryin' somin' out, see if you catch it.
It's not too hard.


I don't know where we are headed, or in what direction.
I just know I show my cares and my affection.
I also want to bring this to your attention.
I fall in love with your little expressions.
There's something about us, is it a mutual connection?
You have the cutest smile, did I forget to mention?
Do you get that feeling of our unique connection?
Pardon my tongue, this is just my honest verbal expression.
Anything you do just catches my attention.
I also melt inside when you show the slightest bit of affection.
There's something about us, so let's keep moving in the same direction.

There's a Jericho snippet haha

Peace & Love!

Insomnia

This joint was hard. Not that good, but it's so much symbolism. to me at least.

And here we go again.
Will my insomnia find its end?
Day and night, I'm losing sleep.
The treasure once with vibrant life, is now deceased.
I can never sleep, because sleep is the cousin of death.
Every move made is accompanied with the shortness of breath.
Closing my eyes becomes quite useless.
How long can I keep on doing this?
They say a week with no sleep and you have probably hallucinated
Would it be visions of the beautiful girl, or of those who have been mutilated.
I've lied here for a long time already, what's my problem.
My sins have been engraved in my mind, how do I absolve them?
I was once on the top, now I know I'm stuck on the bottom.
I've been awake for many seasons, it's already autumn.
Time to bloom, time to awaken.
But if I've never slept, my dreams were never taken.
If I can't dream, then I can't be with you; now I’ve been forsaken.
Now my faith is shaken, my views have changed.
Slowly turning psychotic, better yet; deranged.
I can’t explain, feeling like a helpless critter.
I’m tired of this season, I’m moving on to winter.
Still no rest, but I remember this season best.
Last Christmas, I Did give you my heart, but you gave it away for some cheap sex?
Please, don’t touch me, you’re shoved to the side, I call next.
I tried to sleep it off, but it’s my bed where you got bent.
I’ll try another time, and sleep the next season.
And you know I’m not violent, but you have given me the best reason.
Goodbye winter love, you get shoved.
I might catch a cold even by thinking of your hug.
Hello Spring, it’s definitely been a while.
You know you had the best assets, with your cute smile.
Your cute lips, your cute stare, your warm touch.
You spoiled me, treated me well, you do too much.
It’s too exciting to even fall asleep.
I’ll sleep next season, where I won’t weep.
You’re amazing, you’re great, you’re damn near perfection.
Whenever you walk into the room, I can’t control this erection.
Pardon my sexual references, keeping back the truth is kind of hard.
Pardon the last line, no pun intended .
Sorry to the classy ladies who got offended.
But I’m just a modern man, and these words are my hustle.
Spring love, need me to cuddle, yes speak up your troubles.
I’m here by your side, all day and night.
What the fuck, you were leading me on?! I guess I’m in the friend zone right?
Goodbye Spring, you were fun while it lasted.
You made me lose sleep, now it’s time to get blasted.
Hello there summer, you are by far the best.
Love at first sight of the sunlights ray panning on my chest.
You are indeed so far, the breast, I mean best.
I want to give you my all, definitely nothing less.
Oh summer, late nights, no responsibilities, it’s impossible to doze.
When will I finally be able to sleep, who knows?
It’s okay, I’ll stay up for this last season, summer’s my main squeeze.
Blow me… away and away with your sweet summers breeze.
I love you. No I love the way you sway the trees.
You always promise me a good time, even when you fall to your knees.
Damn, I sound like I’m making all these sexual innuendos.
Well, of course, that is what I meant yo .
But I want to settle down, summer you flow so free.
We can’t stop now if, it’s going to be all of them, and then me.
It’s not possible, but you were my summer love.
If it makes you feel any better, you were the best of the seasons, I’ll put you above.
Wow it’s fall again, and time for a new year.
I’ve changed, I know what I want, it’s clear.
I’m concentrating on my future, I’m not looking to fall.
I’m not even interested, hell, I’m not looking at all.
I still haven’t slept, what the hell is wrong with me, this fall was a successful summer.
I brought the noise, I brought the rain, I brought the thunder.
Now it’s coming back to this coldest winter.
I still haven’t slept, insomnia is still the winner.
But this winter, I’m facing a dilemma.
There ain’t no way in hell, my situation can get any better.
I wish I could sleep it off.
It’s true what they say, no rest for the weary.
But I know I’ll rest with peace, if you’re sleeping here with me.